I believe we create our reality. Individually and collectively, consciously and subconsciously. The path of yoga is the hardest when you realize that it’s all you. Where you are in life, the lessons you are learning, the feelings you are experiencing. Along this path there will surely be a point where you wish you could unlearn this knowing. It can feel like an overwhelming responsibility to know you are the source of your experience. Luckily, along with this lesson, we learn that everything changes and tools of presence and grace while in it.  In our lowest of lows, we know that once again, we will rise. We practice gratitude for all of it and I do mean PRACTICE.

Because I believe we are in charge of our experiences and that ultimately there is a wisdom within the body beyond what we can comprehend in our mind, I was able to rationalize the witchy-like practices of tarot and the use of pendulums.  Biofeedback – the response of the innate knowledge within the body above the often tricky mind. When you take the mystical idea that it’s something outside of yourself dictating outcome, you realize that the choices made are coming from you – even if you aren’t consciously able to choose it… yet. It’s like the Ouija board of our youth when accused of pushing the decoder – yes, we are pushing it! You just may not be aware of the subtle messages you are trying to send yourself.

I started playing around with Tarot cards over a year ago. Not in depth readings but just periodically pulling a card and reflecting on how it may fit into my life.

The sun is a strong symbol to me and I’ve always longed to pull that card. It’s a symbol of light and source. It represents fulfillment, purity, and joy.

Like many, the last year was a challenging one. Winters especially depressing for this sun worshiper. I muddled through the holidays holding onto the only things that could get me through – an in depth study of yoga while leading my first teacher training and a loving relationship I knew would end at the new year. I planned a once-in-a-lifetime trip to end the dreary season, celebrate my accomplishment, and serendipitously get over another botched relationship. Two and half weeks of ocean-living culminating in five nights at a resort in the Riveria Maya to watch my favorite musician play three shows at an all inclusive resort on the beach!  It could not have been a better experience and a total reminder to trust – I traveled and roomed with people I had only met online. It took about two of the weeks to finally settle into the vacation mode of not needing to know what day or time it was, how many emails I had or how I was going to afford living when I returned. I teach presence and even then, our society makes it so hard to disconnect. I am officially a proponent of lengthy time-outs and even returned to my life despite the feeling I could have vacationed forever – who doesn’t feel that way, right?

Coming home is hard when you return to bills, cat puke, laundry, and the need to refocus on work.  I could have easily slipped back into feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I’m holding onto my experience and the tan lines as long as possible!  This morning I took the collected treasures of my trip (shells mostly) and added them to my alter space. I sat in mediation for a short spell and decided that this next phase needed the direction of my higher knowing.

I shuffled my deck and wished for the sun.

I pulled it… upright! I literally said, out loud “no f-ing way!”

Confirmed! The darkness has passed! After what feels like a few years… I am back in the light!  Watch out world – I’m going to shine the shit out of everything I do and spread as many rays of love, hope, and truth as I possibly can while I’ve got it!

Want to become aware of your inner knowing with Tarot?  Here’s what I do…

  • Shuffle your deck a few times.  Consider what your seeking or just sit in your own being a bit.
  • Touch each card by creating a new pile and then cut the deck.
  •  I like to pull one or three cards.
    •  If you’re pulling three cards the first represents your recent past, the second your immediate present, and the third your near future.
  • Don’t flip the card once it’s pulled, they mean something different whether they’re face up or down.
  • After looking at the image and getting a feel for the card, I look up a deeper meaning.

I’m a big fan of biddytarot.com for interpretation!

Leave a comment on your experience of Tarot!  I want to know what you pull!